Firework

Like most of my flower friends, I too am going through a career drama. For the last 4 months or so I’ve been increasingly frustrated by what’s happening at work, and wishing desperately for a change. I joked with my husband that maybe 3 years is just my limit for bullshit because I quit my last job at 3 1/2 years too.

The problem is that we are in a continuing rotation of being short staffed. I was actually promoted a year ago and tasked with doing more in depth training and mentoring for our team, which is right up my alley. However instead of being able to take that directive and run with it, I have been stuck in a cycle of covering our staffing shortage for over a year now. And I work with the front desk team at a hotel so covering means I spend all day every day checking people in and out, which gets old fast. I either spend my days stressed out juggling a million plates because I am scheduled as the manager on duty and also have to cover the desk because we don’t have enough staff and am somehow supposed to train a new employee at the same time–or I spend my day in complete monotony checking people in and feeling like I don’t use my brain at all.

Now, usually I am a peacemaker and avoid conflict, which means I just grin and bear it. But this time I decided I was sick and tired of getting taken advantage of at work. I knew I could do a lot more and that they were wasting my talents by just making me fill desk position A, especially considering that is not my title. I had been waiting to say something until our staffing levels were up, but something made me change my mind. And that something was a Katy Perry Song.

People who know me know how integral music is in my life. I associate different Stages of my life with different songs. Well in the midst of feeling fed up and frustrated I was listening to a Playlist that I made of songs that remind me of my friends with whom I write this blog. And the song Firework came on. It was like I had never really paid attention to the lyrics before, but at that moment I knew the lyrics were meant for me. I did feel like a plastic bag blowing in the wind wanting to start again. And then I was being told to ignite my light and let it shine. I was in my car shouting the lyrics and crying simultaneously. I knew in that moment that I was worth more than what they were giving me and decided to act.

I asked for a meeting with my director and I told him how unhappy I was. I told him I didn’t want to leave but that if my work life was going to continue to just be standing at the front desk when I know I can do more, than I would have no choice. He said that there was actually a lot more he’d wanted me to do with my position that I hadn’t done yet and I asked how he expected me to do anything when I literally was not being allowed to leave the front desk ever. I told him I had to have time off the desk and that actually I wanted to do more if I were given the chance. He told me to give him a week to figure something out.

When he came back to meet with me he said he could have me be a trainer for multiple departments and do quality and service audits for the different areas of the hotel. But he also said I couldn’t start til after summer. This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind but I decided to stay strong and go ahead and demand what I wanted. So I told him I would do this position but I wanted a set start date written down and signed so that they couldn’t try to push it back if we had more staffing issues. I also said I wanted a set schedule with Sundays and Mondays off and a dollar raise. The only thing he questioned was the raise because he said if I made a dollar more I would make more than my managers. I told him that I understood but that only means he should also pay the managers more and it wouldn’t be fair for me to take on more responsibility and not be paid for it. He got a bit wishy-washy and said we could try to talk about compensation once our new general manager started in a few weeks.

I wasn’t completely happy with my managers answers but I was so happy that I stood up for myself. I kept thinking of that Eleanor Roosevelt quote that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. My only concern now is that I feel like I need to possibly look for other jobs anyway since he might not give me what I want and deserve. Cuz baby I’m a firework, and I will show them what I’m worth.